lolnazis

What did Hitler like to drink?

Fresh concentrated JEWS.

lols. so funni am i rite?

Damn, I'm bored.

Oh yay, Nazi jokes!

Why don't Jewish cannibals like eating Germans?
They give them gas.

OH! This one is my favourite:

The scene is a bar in Berlin in January 1933, filled with Nazis. Göring is skulling stiens of beer with the brownshirts, Goebbels is sipping cocktails with a couple of groupies and Hitler is seated with a wild-eyed Hess discussing pupil diagnostics.

An American journalist enters, sees the full crew and realizes he's sitting on the scoop of the century. He asks the barman: "Which one shall I ask for the absolute bottom line on the Nazi plans?" "Goebbels, of course" answers the barman, "He knows everything." The journalist approaches and says "I want the bottom line on what this Nazi thing is." Goebbels flashes him a smile and says "We intend to kill six million Jews and one postman." The journalist's mind races. "But why do you want to kill one postman?" Goebbels shouts over to Hitler: "See Adolf, I told you no-one gives a fig about the Jews!"

I LOL'D
I know holocaust jokes but they only work in french.

Ahahah, great! I LOL'D
Here's the joke on my FA page:

The Commandant of a concentration camp assembles all of his prisoners in the yard to give a brief address. He says to them: 'I have good news and bad news. The good news is we are all going to Paris!'

This was greeted with wary looks from the prisoners..

'The bad news is you are going as soaps.'

Poink wrote:The Commandant of a concentration camp assembles all of his prisoners in the yard to give a brief address. He says to them: 'I have good news and bad news. The good news is we are all going to Paris!'

This was greeted with wary looks from the prisoners..

'The bad news is you are going as soaps.'

LOL! I read that one on some page a while ago; but in that one they were going to England as lamp shades. x)

i dun get it...

Kartoffelkopf wrote:i dun get it...

Which one ?

Oh, another joke:

A SS was walking throught a concentration camp when he met a little girl, so he asks the girl how old she is and she says "Im turning 10 tomorrow" to which the soldier responds "No you're not"'

lol

Don't get the soap one. ;)

Kartoffelkopf wrote:Don't get the soap one. ;)

Oh! You need to see the movie "Life is beautiful"
or la vita e bella
forgot the title in english and italian lol
it contains jews, nazis and lulz

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

Why do German Concentration camp shower heads have 11 holes?

Because Jews have 10 fingers.

Red took my joke(the first one)

of course there is always the "how many Jews can you fit in a (insert 4 door car here), two in the front two in the back and (insert large number here) in the ashtray." xB you can vary the joke..i heard it told a lil different everytime.

A SS was walking throught a concentration camp when he met a little girl, so he asks the girl how old she is and she says "Im turning 10 tomorrow" to which the soldier responds "No you're not"'

that one seriously cracked me up. *feels terrible*

Don't get the soap one. ;)

yeah supposedly they made Jews into soap. and candles. by using their fats. they also used Jew hair to stuff uniforms with to make em more comfortable. and people like Mengele used their skin to make lampshades as gifts. SEE the Nazis were very efficient and used the Jews to make things out of them instead of just throwing it all away. xB

I love these jokes ;D So hilarious!

In actuality, the Germans didn't really do any of that, it was all American propaganda. The skin they found were tattoos they had cut off because they found them "interesting" but as for the soap and lampshades and jew hair used to stuff mattresses, it wasn't done.

Isn't it nice how propaganda distorts history?

Why do jews have big noses?
Air is free.

You hear about the new car made in Israel?
Not only can it stop on a dime, it will go back and pick it up.

Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
Because one of them lost a quarter.

How was copper wire invented?
Two jews fighting over a penny.

Why don't jews like oral sex?
It's too close to the gas chamber.

Did you hear about the jewish child molestor?
He hid in the bushes and said, "Hey little boy, wanna buy some candy?"

Did you hear about the jew bitch who told her husband, "Give me 10 inches and make it hurt."?
He fucked her twice and threw her down the stairs.

A priest and a rabbi show up at the Pearly Gates. Peter says, "Can I help you boys?" "Well, yeah, we just died and we would like to come in to Heaven." Peter looks at his clipboard and says, "I don't think so. You have been pretty bad on Earth and we don't let people like that in here. But I'll tell you what; go ahead and go to Hell, just for now. If Satan will let you come back, I will let you in." Peter sends them away laughing, because Satan never lets anyone go to Heaven. About 10 minutes later the preacher shows back up at the Pearly Gates. Peter says, "No shit! Satan let you come back?" "Yeah, he was in a good mood and said for $20 bucks each we could get out of Hell." "Well, where is that rabbi?" "I don't know, when I left he had Satan down to $19.95."

An old jew bitch was walking her grandson down the beach when a huge wave came up and washed the little boy out to sea. The old woman shook her fist at the sky and cursed God for 20 minutes for taking her only grandson. Finally God couldn't stand the irritating bitch anymore and he sent another wave that set the boy, unharmed, gently back at her feet. After a quick search of the boy she shook her fist at the sky and shrieked, "He had 50 cents in his pocket when you took him!"

A chinaman and a jew are drinking at a bar when the jew gets nasty. "You motherfuckers ought to be ashamed of yourselves for Pearl Harbor. Sneaky little shits, bombing all of those innocent sailors, fuck you." The chink replied, "Hey! Wait a minute, that wasn't us! I'm Chinese. Pearl Harbor was done by Japanese." The jew said, "Ahh, Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" So the chink says, "Well, what about your people? Sinking the Titanic and killing all those helpless women and children, I should fuck you up right here." The kike exclaimed, "What the hell are you yapping about? Jews didn't sink the Titanic, it hit an iceberg, you jackass!" The chink said, "Ahh, iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

How does Santa Claus know he's at a Jewish house?
There is a parking meter on the roof.

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
Canoes tip.

LOL
this is so mean xD
I have mean jokes about leprecy.


What do you do after shaking a leprouds' hand?
Give it back to him.

What's a leg on the sidewalk?
A leprous who stepped on a piece of gum.

What's a leprous in a swimming pool?
An aspirin tablet.

How is chopped meat made?
With leprous guitarists.